Counting
August 13th 2007 12:12
everything is in
the same place as it always is
maybe a few shufflings
this is the moment that counts
i turned and faced that wall
when you rose up and offered me
words that cut open my heart
i raged and made you listen
to my bloodied voice
i am ashamed of myself
but you didn't listen, you can't
you are trapped with steeled eyes
and a head full of nightmares
and i pray often you will see yourself
for what you are
the light of my eyes
dimmed by your angst...
~Lily
the same place as it always is
maybe a few shufflings
this is the moment that counts
i turned and faced that wall
when you rose up and offered me
words that cut open my heart
i raged and made you listen
to my bloodied voice
i am ashamed of myself
but you didn't listen, you can't
you are trapped with steeled eyes
and a head full of nightmares
and i pray often you will see yourself
for what you are
the light of my eyes
dimmed by your angst...
~Lily
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Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
Comment by Always Eighteen
Always Eighteen
To me, this poem reminded me of those times in my failed relationships, when I knew things were going downhill, but I kept and kept on trying and did a lot of shameful things to get it back to how it used to be.
Anyway, hope you're going okay. Writing can be so therapeutic, can't it? Great poem, Lily!
Comment by Chic Critique
Very nice Lily....very nice.
Cheers
CC
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
I agree with everyone's comments above. You've captured that sense of desperation so well.
Kylie
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
You have expressed so well, some feelings I have also had.
Beautiful and affecting,
Tracy
Comment by Lily
Ars Poetica
therapeutic?.. always!
Thanks for your comments friends, 'twas one of those streaming tap tap poems, one minute sorta things...
emotions still raw on this one, so not much more to say at the moment......thanks for sharing your relate...
~Lily
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
I read this, this morning and voted but...couldn't leave a comment.
So...I'll just echo Kleo, Tracy, Chic and Kylie...
...warm hugs Reine...
Dusk
Comment by Lily
Ars Poetica
i'm just grateful that you read my angsty...
~Lily
Comment by Jeanne Dininni
Writer's Notes
A very powerful poem!
Jeanne